Not right now

In a bit of a bad place right now, or at least not one where I feel like making plans or working on any kind of project.

I had a splitting headache all day, probably my own fault due to bad wine I had last night.

I want to whine. Bitch about life. How I'm so angry at myself for not being able to see clearly and pull things together. How I want to get away from it all but realise there's nowhere to run when you're trying to escape yourself.

It's such a contradiction. I want to do so many things, and at the same time I don't have the courage or the energy to do any of them.

My head is a constant muddle of thoughts, yet nothing actually seems to go from thought to action.

And at the same time I know I would be happier if I would just:
- quit my job
- live abroad, in a house by the sea
- take up painting and horse riding
- go rock climbing or cave exploring
- get a cat
- sell everything I own and buy new clothes
- eat healthily and drink water

Still doesn't answer the question of how I'd actually earn a living, and nothing seems appealing at all for that purpose.

Maybe I should put my life up for sale on Ebay and live off that for a while.

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