It's Monday again, and that means...

It's time to post my weigh in results.

So, today sees me at -0.3kg or -0.6lb compared to last week.
Total loss so far: 4.6 kg or 10 lb.

Not a great result this week, but I figure a loss is a loss is not a gain, right? lol.
And I know exactly why I didn't lose more, having gone 26 points over allowance and only 10 activity points to compensate...

Given the fact it was New Year's Eve (3 glasses of champagne, a glass of wine and 4 different mini-desserts) that caused the biggest damage, I can safely assume I will have no problem getting back on track this week.

I'm actually really pleased with my results so far. I can't wait to get to my 10% goal as I know how important that is for my health, and also I'm hoping that by then I'll have dropped a size in clothes.

Hope everyone else has a good week... good luck to all with weigh in.

Sunday at the beach

Yesterday I was whining to Bart that we never went out and did anything at the weekend, so today we drove to the seaside for a long - and freezing - walk on the beach.


I tried to take some pics whenever we came across anything interesting, but the cold wind pushed us along pretty quickly and after 45 minutes we retreated for a yummy lunch before walking around in the shopping streets - incredibly busy as it's the first weekend of winter sales...



Home now, trying to get warm with a big mug of tea, and happy we got out of the house and had such a nice day.

"Before" picture selection

Choosing "before" pictures is a significant event, for me at least.
It means I have enough faith in myself to believe I am going to lose the weight.
Because posting "before" pictures and never getting down to a weight where it's worth posting "after" pictures, well that would just be lame...

So here is my selection of "before" pictures:

	Our wedding, July 19th 2008. When Bart asked me to marry him on November 29th 2007, I of course vowed to lose weight before the wedding. But as the weeks and months went by, I could only observe that nothing was happening... work was more than hectic and I was eating irregularly and badly, and de-stressing with alcohol and treats in the evenings. I decided in the end to not let it get to me, and resigned myself to be a bride at the heaviest I'd ever weighed (16st4). I did however vow to have the wedding pictures redone should I ever lose the weight.
August 30th 2008, in town with my lovely sister. My sister is a beautiful girl. She's tall and slim. It wasn't always like that though and she has battled with her weight several times before. She's now a fitness freak and can be found at the gym 7 days a week. She also has a really strange diet, which I'm not sure is very balanced, but it seems to work for her. She lives with us for the moment, and being around her all the time can make me feel quite fat, old and ugly, but I love her to bits :)
	November-December 2008, on our honeymoon in Réunion and Mauritius. After an already perfect wedding, we had an absolutely blissful honeymoon last month. That wouldn't have been possible without the help of all our friends and family who put money into our honeymoon account, and I was thrilled we were going to be able to indulge in a real tropical paradise :) I am always apprehensive about holidays. I absolutely love travelling, and get a real kick out of planning and organising everything, but one thing that can get me down is the prospect of showing more flesh than I'm comfortable with when we go somewhere hot... so I always choose clothes that cover me up as much as possible. Of course, I usually feel like a clown, with my long trousers and long-sleeve tops when everyone else is sauntering around in skimpy bikinis. But I try not to let it get to me, and only occasionally let myself feel defeated by it.
The other reason the holidays confront me with my weight is that I am so limited in the activities I can do. I would love to go diving, climbing, abseiling, canyonning and horse-riding, but I am usually either too unfit or it would require me fitting into gear that isn't made for someone my size. So I save myself the embarrassment either way and just don't do all these things. I keep thinking "I'll do them when I'm fit and slim", but at age 30 I'm starting to wonder if by the time that happens I won't be too damn old! Finally, the thing that can really bum me out with holidays is the flight... for the past 2 years I cringe just at the idea of having to sit in a plane seat... especially when it involves a 12-hour flight.
	I mean, seriously, I know my ass has gotten bigger, but I am also persuaded airplane seats are forever getting smaller! In any case, it is another reminder of how my weight hinders me and another very good reason to get rid of the excess baggage! But these holidays were a blessing, and eating lots of fruit and veg every day, drinking less and feeling altogether happier and more relaxed was what inspired me to join WW when I got home. I joined the very next day, with a starting weight of 16st 9lb and so far things are going good :)

So that's it for my "before" pictures. I hope that by the end of February I'll have lost enough to be able to see the difference and post some "progress pics" :)

Happy New Year!

2009... I wonder what this year has in store for me?

Hopefully a few nice surprises and not too many unpleasant ones.

This year will be all about creating a new career for myself, after I finish my job at the end of January.
I have options, which is nice, but still need to decide what it is I really want.
Seeing as work is pretty calm right now, I hope I'll find some time to look into it over the next few weeks and feel a little more prepared for it all.

On one hand I really want to do a complete shift into coaching & training, and am seriously considering re-doing university to study psychology. On the other hand, I know I could use my experience in project management to find a well-paid job, with the advantage of not having to worry about money, health insurance, etc. I'm still not sure what my priority is right now, or if I can find a way to combine both goals. So, lots to think about...

2009 will also be the year I get back to a healthy weight. The first 3 weeks on WW went really well, this week has been more difficult with New Year celebrations and I've gone 20 points over my daily allowance in total over the past 3 days... I'm already doing that thing where I think "one piece of chocolate won't hurt me", followed by "a handful of crisps won't make a difference", before moving on to "one teaspoon of ice-cream doesn't really count". Yes, I diversify, lol.

On a positive note, I know I should be really proud of myself for limiting my alcohol intake (1 glass of wine at dinner with the in-laws tonight!) and being able to resist a lot of temptations (2 hours sitting next to a plate of chocolates and biscuits without taking a single one and getting a tangerine instead). And I didn't feel I was depriving myself.
Nevertheless, I can feel a binge coming on... it's itching me... I recognise the build-up of little indulgences which will give way to a full-blown pigging out session in a couple of days' time and I'm not sure how to stop it.

No doubt this is going to be a battle, but at least I won't be so stressed out and worn out by work that I have neither the time nor the energy to fight it properly.

Anyway, I hope everyone has an amazing year in 2009. I hope the world economy improves quickly (and I am optimistic it will) and we all achieve our goals. I can honestly say 2008 was a wonderful year, moving in to our new place, getting married, going on an amazing honeymoon, and even the stress at work and health problems cannot put a damper on that. I can only believe 2009 will be just as fascinating and enriching.

Smog is beautiful

This was the view from my place this morning before I left for work.
It looks so peaceful and pretty... amazing it's actually pollution that causes it to look that good, lol!

It feels so good that the days are getting longer again, tomorrow is the last day of the year and spring is just around the corner :)

2008 was a great year in so many ways, I hope 2009 will be a great year too.

On a brighter note

Some positive things:
- I lost another 1.1 kg last week. Total loss: 4.3 kg.
- I only have 5 weeks left at work before my new life begins (whatever that will turn out to be).
- I've started reading again (or rather continued after the holidays), even if right now it's just silly chick lit.
- I've used our new exercise bike 4 times since we bought it last Monday, despite it really really hurting my bum.
- I'm at work and the bosses are all on holiday. I'm gonna wrap up my invoicing for 2008, then go home. And tomorrow we're going out for xmas lunch with the other 7 colleagues who are working over the holidays, which means we will get absolutely no work done :).

Back at work and scary thoughts

I'm back at work and the place is full of chocolate and sweets! Argh! So far I've only had one sweet, and I am going to leave it at that, but this is going to take considerable willpower. I'm so bored at my job and such a procrastinator... eating is a way of putting off working, lol.

Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor's and get blood drawn to check for diabetes. I am so hoping it hasn't come to that. I would really hate myself if I have got it because of my weight being too high for too long. I mean, I know I'm doing something about it now, I just hope it isn't too late. The reason my doctor wants to check is this bloody foot injury that isn't healing, which apparently can be a sign of diabetes. :(

I did an online test once where you inputted all your data (age, weight, if you smoke, family history, where you live, what kind of job you do, what sports you do...) and it calculates your life expectancy. Being overweight actually takes 10 years off my life. Can you imagine? It was a really freaky test, cause I did it for my dad, giving his age in as 57 and it predicted he would die at 59, which is exactly the age he had died at a few years earlier (lung cancer). Ugh!

Anyway, all these health considerations are what is really pushing me to lose weight for good this time. I am more at risk for heart disease (number one killer for women), blod clots, diabetes, problems during pregnancy, certain cancers and a sh*tload of other things. I'm afraid of taking the plane when I should be much more afraid of the crap I put in my mouth every day.

Weird Christmas

What a strange xmas this year... I have basically been gagging for a big family get-together type xmas for months now, but it just wasn't meant to be.
First my sister and her boy were going to come over, but they couldn't afford the flights.
So I tried to get my cousin and his wife to come over but they had other plans.
So I (desperate by then) invited my in-laws over for xmas dinner, but they had some lame excuse about him not being able to drink if they had to drive all the way here, not being allowed to smoke in our place, and something about the dog.

Little sis (who's living with us) didn't want to commit to anything and decided she wasn't in xmas spirit this year anyway. So with neither my husband nor my sister caring much for any of it, I boldly went and got a xmas tree, decorated it and hung up some lights... but it's not much fun when you're only doing it for yourself.

Anyway, we ended up being invited to a friend's place, for xmas eve dinner with an assorted bunch of random people (her 2 kids, her brother, her grandmother, the neighbour's kid and us) which turned out to be a nice evening, with lots of presents and good food, just not really the big family thing I really wanted.

Yesterday I decided to go to church, it being the 4 year anniversary of my father's death. But the church was closed... oh well, I know it was a bit silly, I mean, why would I feel closer to him in church than anywhere else. But I guess I wanted to do something that would mark the fact I had been thinking of him.

For me, Christmas is all about sharing moments with the people you love. And without those people, it just loses its meaning. Of course there's Bart, but he doesn't have the xmas spirit so it really just feels like any other day. The best part of xmas this year has been phoning mum in New Zealand for 40 minutes (hello phone bill) and my sister in Shetland for another half hour and chatting away to my nephew who spent at least 10 minutes just reciting all the presents he got.

So today I'm not making any special xmas meal and I'm back on my diet (went just a bit over points yesterday) and we didn't exchange presents (except for my sister who got me Amelie Poulain on DVD). Our present to each other was an exercise bike, and I think Bart was more than happy to be off the hook for present duty this year. Tonight we'll be having thaï green curry vegetable and beef stir fry and going to bed early.

I'm really going to try and organise to get over to New Zealand for xmas next year and hopefully have some sort of family gathering, as it should be.

10 days in...

After the first 10 days on Weight Watchers I had my second weigh in this morning and have lost 2.2 kilos! Total so far: 3.2 kilos down.

Of course being sick and not having much appetite have helped, but apparently so did all the changes I've made to my eating patterns.

I really want to keep this up but I guess I'm afraid there will be those inevitable moments when I won't give a damn anymore, and then who knows what will happen...

But there is definitely a sense of relief that I have finally started at least.

Weight Watchers week 1

I have just completed my first week on Weight Watchers!
I am so happy to have finally found the inspiration to lose all this weight I have been carrying around for too long already.

I felt so good during our honeymoon in Mauritius, eating lots of fruit and veg, balancing out my meals and making healthy choices when faced with massive buffets of tempting foods, that I really finally understood I could do it.
The hardest part was thinking I'd been making healthy choices and eating all the right things, then coming home to find I'd put on 3 kg.

So I decided to join Weight Watchers Online and start counting points, a system I know works for me after doing it for 7 weeks in 2004 (that attempt aborted when my father became ill, then died 6 months later). I also think they're sensible, as opposed to every other fad diet out there.

Anyway, I chalk down most of the 3 kg I gained to water retention during the flight, cause we've been home 9 days and I've already dropped them again, which I don't think can be attributed solely to 1 week of WW and the flu...

Monday is my official weigh-in day, even though I started on a Saturday, so I'll wait till then to publish my official weekly result.

So,
Motivation CHECK
WW subscription CHECK
Fitness bike CHECK (as of tomorrow)
Diet blog CHECK

This time I'm serious :)