Restart

Okay, I have to put pen to paper (so to speak) and commit to this or it'll never happen.

I had a lucky break with the pregnancy, out of the hospital and back to my lowest weight straight away, so I really need to be a bit more grateful for it and not throw away this opportunity to continue on the road to my goal.

Since then - already 3 months - I haven't been very good. I've fallen back into a sugar spiral, with chocolate and biscuits forming way too big a part of my daily diet. My only saving grace has been breastfeeding - the extra calories I need have counteracted *most* of the naughty food. I need to put a stop to this andI'm not sure I can manage if I don't take a solemn pledge.

Having said that, I just bought a box of Pierre Marcolini chocolates - aka bite-sized pieces of heaven. Okay, I am going to pace myself. No more than 2 a day from now on. And no more biscuits. I mean, it's ridiculous, all the other stuff I eat is healthy.

There. I've said it, I've committed and now I have to stick to it. Watch this space for a weekly update.

Oh, other than that: Jack is just adorable - so gorgeous and an absolute sweetheart. He sleeps really well at night and is getting into more of a rythm during the day too. And he started daycare 2 weeks ago, part-time for now. I love being able to work a bit in the morning and pick him up around 2 and still have all afternoon with him :) Life is really good right now, more than I could ever have imagined.

Post pregnancy weigh in

First of all thanks to all you lovely ladies for commenting on my previous post.
As you can imagine I am totally in love with the little guy :)

But now for some serious business... weigh in and getting back on the weight loss wagon.
My lowest weight pre-pregnancy was 199 lbs / 90.1 kg, the week before I got pregnant.
The last week of pregnancy I was up to 229 lbs / 104 kg, so a gain of 30 lbs / 13.9 kg, with quite a bit of water retention to blame...

Weigh in yesterday morning gave me the nice surprise of... 203 lbs / 92.2 kg, so only 4 lbs / 2.1 kg to lose to be back to pre-pregnancy weight :)

I'm breastfeeding (not easy, but we're slowly getting the hang of it) so I have the perfect excuse to keep eating lots of fruit, veg and wholegrain foods and stay away from the alcohol. So I'm hoping to lose a bit more weight over the next few weeks.

Right now I won't be signing back up for WW, as I feel pretty much in control of what I'm eating - that and the fact that I just don't think I want to spend the time necessary to record everything I eat. We'll see how it goes and I'l re-evaluate in a few weeks.

But it's good to be 12 kg down after just a week, more than I'd hoped for :)

And now I'm off to dote on my gorgeous boy :)

Letting reality sink in

Well, today I ordered my first baby-related item: a nursery rhyme book from amazon.co.uk.
And because it caught my eye and I remember it fondly from my own childhood, I added to it the hungry caterpillar book.

So, before clothes or toys, a pram or a bed, bottles or pacifiers... I've bought my child-to-be some books. I guess that says a lot about a) how much I love books and b) how completely unprepared and blissfully naïve I am about the whole concept of bringing a child into this world and everything it entails.

On a slightly more realistic note, I got around to contacting an architect and builder to ask for a quote for the work that needs to be done to our place before it is even remotely ready to receive the new baby. Hopefully I can get that kick-started over the next few weeks and have everything finished well in time for the summer.

My bump has now made an appearance and although I can still button up a couple of pairs of trousers, I am pretty sure it won't last much longer. I am now mentally preparing to boldly go where I've never been before and visit a maternity clothes store. Or maybe I'll stick to H&M's maternity section?

I've put on 2kg/4.4lbs since the beginning of pregnancy (I'm almost 18 weeks on now) and I'm desperately trying to keep that number down - although you wouldn't think so judging by the amount of food I'm consuming. However, I've managed to keep it all fairly healthy so far and am drinking record amounts of water. Can you see my halo? lol.

Yesterday I had an amazing experience: a one hour long, luxurious massage. Not the first time I get a massage, but this one was particularly good and I felt so relaxed afterwards. Must try and make another appointment next month.

The rest of the week was nothing special, all work and flaking out in the sofa. I did go out on Tuesday night with two ex-colleagues to a yummy restaurant and was actually quite naughty, although no alcohol means I saved a few hundred calories compared to my usual night out.

Next week I'm off to see the Australian Pink Floyd in concert and am really looking forward to it! I've seen them 3 times before and love them! Okay, they're not the real deal, but they come pretty damn close. It's a pity baby can't hear yet as it would be in for some great music otherwise ;)

Chocolate eclairs and a heartbeat

Another doctor's visit today, so we got to hear baby's heartbeat, nice and strong.
Mine on the other hand is apparently not beating as rhythmically as it should, so I've been referred to the cardiologist for some tests. I don't expect it to be anything serious as I've noticed it has a weird beat for a long time and have never felt ill from it.

The scales showed a 1 kg / 2 lb gain, so I need to keep my eating in check. Which won't be happening today as I indulged in a chocolate eclair (mmmmnomnom), had lunch at a Thai restaurant with friends and am eating out again tonight. Thankfully I am not drinking alcohol, or I would really be in trouble.

Still sniffling with a cold that I can't seem to shake. Hope it disappears soon as it's stopping me from sleeping properly. I took a sick day off work on Tuesday as there was really not much work and I felt crap. Before I'd have gone into work anyway, as I needed to be on the verge of dying before I felt I had the right to a sick day, but now it's much easier as the only consequence is I don't get paid, so I don't feel as guilty when I decide I'm not well enough to work.

The only further exciting news (everything's relative...) is that Bart and I finally sat down and looked through names to try and decide which ones we liked. Boys' names are so difficult and we definitely don't like the same stuff (I'm into Noah, Lucas and Jonas whereas Bart is more of a Victor, Nick and Jack fan). We have about 5 girls' names we both like, so I think we'll be okay there. I have no idea how to decide which one it will be though. I guess we'll try them out on the bump once we know what it is and see which one sticks.

Week 43 WI

And I've been a bad, bad girl.

Well, actually I thought I was pretty good, if I completely blank out the 2 days I spent in London at my friend Anne's.

Saturday was lunch at Carluccio's (hey, I had the tomato soup for starters) and Sunday full roast lunch at Brown's (oops, did I mention the oven roast camembert we shared for starters?). Both meals nicely topped off with sparkling wine (the kind that goes down a little too easily).

I actually thought I had limited the damage as I was too full for dinner both days, but snacking on twiglets and pretzels washed down with white wine obviously didn't fit into that plan.

Anyway, back from temptation and the damage as measured this morning is 0.4 kg / 0.9 lbs on.

I've been back on track since Monday, but still not actually tracking. I'm just really tired with the whole counting points and I think it actually has a negative effect on me: I eat healthily all day and listen to my hunger signals, but when I point everything I've eaten and I'm under points, I suddenly start wondering what else I could eat. If I don't add up the points, I don't actually think about having that extra snack.

Anyway, I've decided to give pointing a rest for a while longer and see how it goes. Fingers crossed.

Food obsession

I didn't point all week. Which doesn't mean I went completely over the top, I was actually quite reasonable all week - until yesterday night when the red wine and chocolate cake got the better of me.
But I tried to stick to 3 reasonable meals a day and no snacking, and really didn't do too bad.

Which made me think back to 9 months ago and remember how I would fantasise about food all day long.
I remember going to bed at night dreaming about the next day's breakfast, or finishing lunch and already fantasising about everything in the cupboards, doing a mental inventory of the fridge and obsessing about any chocolate bar or biscuit I knew was sitting in the kitchen waiting for me. The worst moment of the day was after dinner, when the food sirens would call to me and I would make regular trips from the couch to the kitchen to nible at anything and everything, hoping my husband didn't notice. Total obsession. I would estimate I spent about 6 hours a day just thinking about food, feeling taunted by it, anticipating eating it, battling with myself about whether or not to eat it, eating it, feeling guilty about eating it...

I realised at the time that I was completely obsessed and knew it wasn't normal or healthy, but I couldn't imagine it ever changing, I thought that was just the way I was kinked and would have to battle my food thoughts for the rest of my life.

9 months on and I hardly ever think about food (I'm not kidding, I really rarely think about it anymore), I can go 6 or 7 hours without eating and suddenly realise it's dinner time because I feel hungry (yes, HUNGRY!). I think "so this is how normal people feel about food?" and have a hard time imagining I was so obsessed about it in the first place.

Of course, I still have issues or I'd already be a size 10. Stress sees me making unhealthier choices (not eating more, just less healthy) and social situations are triggers for going off track (alcohol and snacks, my two worst enemies).

Last night I sat at a dinner table with 2 friends. One naturally skinny and one a constant dieter - she's at a healthy weight now but often yoyos up and down by 10 kilos or so. On the table, a bottle of red wine and a chocolate cake. This was after a relatively healthy and filling dinner of chicken and vegetable curry.
It struck me that whereas naturally skinny friend could leave a half-eaten slice of cake on her plate and half a glass of red wine in front of her for half an hour without touching it, dieter friend and me were constantly sipping and nibbling, cutting away small bits of cake and topping up our glasses of wine regularly. I'd estimate that by the end of the evening we'd had about 3 times more cake than skinny friend and double the amount of wine.

So, still some issues to deal with before I am 100% freed from the food demons, but I do think I can get there eventually.

My dream is to become a naturally healthy person, able to stay at a steady weight for long periods of time without much effort, auto-regulating any excesses without even thinking about it, with an inate sense of balance. I wonder if that's possible or if the overeater in me will always be lurking in the shadows, ready to send me soaring back into obesity?

Week 41 WI

I had a week off last week. Well, not on purpose, but that's the way it turned out.

I had just a little bit too much to eat every day and couldn't be bothered enough to point it. 3 days in a row eating out, plus mad hours at work meant I wasn't as strict with myself as I am most of the time - at least in a good week.

Having said that, I made decent choices and indulged in a controlled way, so I was quite pleased to see a 0.1 kg / 0.2 lbs loss on the scale today. Not much, but not a gain after a week of potentially explosive situations. Yay me!

Back on track this week and no alcohol for a week - still amazing how tired I am the next day even after just 2 glasses of wine...

My mother-in-law

... is a real sweetheart. I mean, she's rather loud and very much set in her ways, not very adventurous or worldly, and we don't always understand each other - her language being my third language and she speaks it with a heavy accent - but as far as supporting me during my diet goes, she's gold.

We go to see them once every 3 weeks on a Sunday - in itself a very reasonable amount of in-law time ;-) - and have dinner with them. She is also quite heavy-set and has followed WW herself in the past, so knows what I can and can't eat and actually prepares special dishes for me when she makes anything that's not 100% good for me. So while evryone else was eating cheese croquettes for starters and fries with the main course, I got parma ham and melon, and boiled potatoes. Probably saving me about 12 points! What an angel :-)

On a more freaky note, she was telling me today how much she noticed I'd already lossed (bless her!), then told me not to lose too much or I wouldn't have any breasts left, adding "don't take my son's toys away!". Eeeeuw! Okay, so he's an only son and she is obviously extremely attached to him, but that was just one step too far for me.

But, moving swiftly on... today she made "paling in't groen", a traditional Belgian dish of eel in a green sauce made with spinach, celery, parsley, onions, etc. I was a bit squirmish at the idea of eating eel, but really it tastes just like any other fish, isn't slimy at all like I thought it would be and it went down really well :-)

Everything I shouldn't have eaten today but did...

It's been a very long time since I've had a day like today. I was helping a friend move into her new apartment, and she made spaghetti for lunch and got delivery pizza for dinner. The only thing I can hope is that all the lifting and carrying and running up and down stairs used up some calories, because I am going to need all the help I can get to counter the damage:

Breakfast (3.5 pts):
2 Weetabix + semi-skimmed milk

Snack (4 pts):
1 Balisto
1 Prince biscuit

Lunch (12.5 pts):
1/4 bag Doritos nacho cheese
Spaghetti bolognaise
Grated cheese

Dinner (18.5 pts):
1 Pizza Hut garlic bread
3 slices ham & mushroom Italian pizza
2 glasses red wine

And to top things off, the 3 large glasses of Pepsi Max I had may have actually been regular Pepsi.
I feel slightly sick. Ugh.

I have no hopes whatsoever for weigh in this week. I fully expect a gain and am really diappointed.

Sigh (Inner peace and the lack thereof)

I am at home alone tonight and trying to relax, but I obviously haven't quite mastered that art yet.

I'm surfing, half watching tv, after calling my mum and my sister and I'm fighting the incredibly powerful urge to get up and eat the fridge empty. Right now I'm contemplating reading a book or getting on the exercise bike or both at the same time.

And I feel anything but relaxed. I am so intent on "doing" something that I am constantly in a state of frenzy that only actually stops when I fall asleep. For some reason I believe food will help me calm down.

Maybe it would be helpful to write down everything that's going through my mind right now to justify eating: I want to feel comforted. If I eat I will feel calmer and be able to relax. Food will fill me and bring me to a safe, soft place. I deserve a treat because I've worked all day. The taste of chocolate will make me happy. I deserve to be happy. Eating chocolate now would be like giving myself a present. Not eating anything is refusing myself a pleasure and it won't make any difference. It's not like I'm going to lose weight this week anyway. I never lose much, even when I deprive myself all week. I'm going to stay this weight for the rest of my life, I'll never get to goal. I feel comfortable the way I am now, safe and protected. If I eat something now, I can just stay on the couch and get fat and never have to get up and I can spend the rest of my life feeling comfortable and drowsy. I can relax. If I eat I can ignore the fact it's really time for bed and the day is over and I don't feel I've achieved anything. After a day at the office I feel useless and I don't see the point of what I'm doing. I want my life to be meaningful and fulfilling and by eating chocolate I can prolong the day, then maybe I'll feel fulfilled. Eating chocolate will give me the inspiration to do something amazing instead of just getting ready for bed. If I go to bed now I'll have missed out on the opportunity to eat, I'll go to bed feeling empty. I won't feel comforted....

I urgently need to take up meditation (or medication?). I'm glad my yoga classes are starting again in a couple of weeks, that could be my salvation.

Week 36 WI

I don't know what came over me last week, but I was on fire!
I didn't have a single craving and as a consequence didn't eat anything outside of mealtimes, had 3 healthy meals a day and was actually under points almost every day!
I played badminton, cycled and walked, earning 16 bonus points.
I actually saved a total of 28 points last week!!

Totally chuffed at myself for doing so well, though I am slightly disappointed that the scales only show a 0.6 kg / 1.3 lbs loss. But I know I must be happy with that and need to realise I'm in this for the long haul, so as long as I get there in the end it doesn't matter how long it takes.

Oh, and I didn't have any alcohol. Despite eating out twice :)

My updated results are:
Loss this week: - 0.6 kg / - 1.3 lbs
Total loss so far: - 13.5 kg / - 29.8 lbs

I am actually "this" close to the 1/3 way mark, almost 30 lbs gone, 60 to go.

Having said that, I started working again full-time yesterday for a 6-week contract, and today was quite stressful, so I had a bowl of cereals after dinner that I wasn't hungry for. I hope I can keep it under control, and will try my best to, but I'm a bit worried nevertheless.

Traditional Belgian dish - chicon and ham rolls

I made this dish last night so thought I'd take a few shots of it and post the recipe here. It's one of my favourite dishes, more a winter kind of thing, but I indulge in it all year round.

The main ingredient is chicon, or witloof chicory*, which are pretty difficult to find in the U.K.. They're slightly bitter, so if you're not a fan of artichokes and Brussels sprouts, stay away from them ;)

* Witloof Chicory (also called French or Belgian Endive) are blanched, tight heads produced by forcing (or growing in the darkness) the big mature chicory roots in forcing structures. See picture further down.

I have tweaked the original recipe - which uses lots of butter and cheese - to make a WW-friendly version, but if you're not on a diet, please indulge in the real thing as it is absolutely divine with the added ingredients ;)

Ingredients (serves 1)
(the reason I make this dish for 1 person is that my husband hates chicon, so I always make it just for myself)

2 nice big chicon
2 large slices of ham (about 30 g per slice)
200 ml semi-skimmed milk
2 level tbsp cornflour
150 g potatoes
1/2 tsp butter
salt, pepper, grated nutmeg
Optional: grated cheese


Preparation
Cut about 1 cm off the base of the chicon and cut out a small cone to get rid of the harder core. Don't wash the chicon before cooking, as this increases their bitterness apparently. If necessary, remove one or two outer leaves if not perfectly clean.

Melt a tiny amount of butter in a saucepan (about 1/2 tsp is enough), then add the chicon to the pan. The butter just gives them a really nice creamy taste, so I don't leave it out, but you could. Add half a cup of water and cover, leaving to simmer on a low heat for about 35 minutes (the softer the chicon become, the nicer they are). The water should just about fully evaporate - make sure they don't burn and add a little extra water if necessary.


I usually make this dish with mashed potatoes (simply cook the potatoes, drain the excess water and add a couple of tbsp of milk to them before mashing them up, then add salt and pepper).

For the sauce: put the milk on to boil and add the cornflour. Stir on a low heat for about 20 minutes, while the sauce thickens (this is a low-fat version of a white sauce. For the full-fat version, use an equal amount of butter and flour). Season with salt, pepper and grated nutmeg.

Take the cooked chicon and roll each one in a slice of ham. Serve with the mashed potatoes and cover with the white sauce.

Optionally, you can sprinkle the dish with grated cheese and put it in the oven to grill for a few minutes.

The low-fat version of this dish is 7 points (including the potatoes). Add extra points if you use butter in the sauce or grated cheese on top.

Bon appétit!

Recipe time - rice and tuna salad

I've never posted a recipe before, but this one is so yummy I thought I'd share it.
It's also very easy to make and great as a summer dish.
I made it today and for the first time I used brown rice instead of white and it works just great, much healthier too :)

Ingredients (serves 4):
180 g dried brown rice
1 small tin of sweet corn (140 g)
1 large tin of tuna fish in brine (185 g)
2-3 tomatoes or about 20 cherry tomatoes (love cherry tomatoes!), chopped
20 green olives, chopped
2 hard boiled eggs, chopped

Seasoning:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 tablespoon wine vinegar
1 teaspoon mustard
salt, pepper, oregano, parsley, garlic, onion...

Cook the rice, boil the eggs, chop up the tomatoes, olives and eggs and, when everything's cooled down, mix all the ingredients together in a big salad bowl. Other ingredients are possible, depending on what you have handy: anchovies, bell peppers, capers, apples, nuts, cheese...

The salad itself is 4.5 points per serving, the seasoning 1 extra point, but it's possible to use lower point salad dressing if you want. I love my olive oil, so this is one thing I still indulge in :)

Enjoy!

Inspirational videos about Emotional Eating

I was up last night till 2 in the morning, unable to sleep, and started browsing the internet for information about food allergies and food addiction, a topic I've seen pop up on a few other blogs, and I stumbled across some videos on YouTube. The girl in them - Josie - has been doing research into Emotional Eating and was sharing her findings, and everything she said really made so much sense.

So, if like me you're not only trying to shift the excess weight, but also wondering what goes on in your brain to cause you to overeat in the first place, if you're prone to emotional eating and want to understand why, you really should check out these videos. You can find them here: http://www.youtube.com/user/josielenore

I really recommend you watch all the videos, but I'll give a quick summary of them here (and this is in my own words, so you might take something slightly different away after watching them):

a) our excess weight initially comes from emotional eating. Once we start trying to lose the weight through dieting, we get stuck in a vicious circle of repression (diet) -> binge eating -> guilt -> more repression...

b) the binges can be curbed by stopping the repressive attitude towards food. To do that, we need to eat more intuitively and let our body decide what it needs to be healthy (instead of strictly calorie counting...) - by eliminating foods we are intolerant to, listening to our bodies' hunger signals, stopping when we're full... the video that touches on this - "Take a Skinny Friend to Lunch Week" - is really interesting as it highlights the differences in the way we - dieters - approach food as opposed to the way naturally skinny people approach food. And I live with a naturally skinny person, so I have plenty of opportunities to study those differences and learn from them!

c) once the binges are curbed, we're basically left with the emotional eating, which stems from a really interesting coping mechanism we learnt in childhood. There are several concepts in this part, which I find absolutely fascinating. One of them is learned helplessness (the experiment with the dogs explains it really well - check out the video for the full explanation), which means that if, in childhood, we learned we were powerless to solve a problem, we will continue, in adulthood, when faced with a similar problem, to believe we are powerless to solve it, without even trying...

The second concept concerns task-oriented and emotion-oriented coping strategies, or as Josie calls them, soothing and solving: when faced with a problem, do you focus on solving the problem, or do you focus on getting rid of the feelings (anxiety, fear, sadness) that the problem provokes in you?

We all have situations in which we are task-oriented: for me, it's stuff like organising a party, managing projects at work, organising holidays... I just analyse the situation, then act to get things done efficiently.

And then there are the situations in which we resort to soothing (emotion-oriented coping). This happens so instinctively that we don't even realise what's happened until we're half way through the cookie jar. We feel helpless (because of learned helplessness) in the situation and don't even try to solve it, we just assume - on an entirely subconscious level - that we can't do anything about it, so we reach for a bag of crisps and a beer (in my case) to soothe the emotions the situation provokes.

Identifying the trigger situations in which we instinctively "soothe" instead of "solve" can really help stop us from emotional eating. I think I do it mostly in inter-personal situation where there's a risk of conflict. I can't stand the idea of telling certain people I'm not OK with their attitude, or don't agree with them, so I avoid the conflict by stuffing my feelings down with food. The other situation in which I comfort eat is when I'm bored. Instead of taking 5 minutes to actually think about all the things that I could be doing (and there are a lot of them!), I panic... and do the one thing I feel "safe" doing: eat.

Some of the other really interesting things I picked up from these videos:
- These mechanisms go back to our childhood and are deeply ingrained. I learned these coping mechanisms during my parents' divorce, when I was 9 years old, the same age Josie was. And she mentions she was taught to diet at age 10. Same here.
- She also makes a link between being brought up by an extremely strict parent and resorting to emotional eating (as a child you are helpless to solve situations when you are brought up that way - the strict parent always decides for you), which also hits home for me. I also think a lot of it had to do with the fact that neither of my parents actually wanted to know what I was feeling and if I was OK. I had all these emotions and no one to talk to about them. So with no way to address and resolve my feelings, I stuffed them down with food.

I hope you find this useful... I'm going to pay much more attention to any triggers that have me reaching for the cupboard or fridge, and I'm also going to try to be more intuitive in my eating patterns, I will keep planning and tracking what I'm eating, but will eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full and won't beat myself up when I go over points...

If you stumble across any more interesting articles or videos about this, please post them in the comments!

Editing to add: I just found Josie's blog on blogger, if you want to follow her :) http://thinside-out.blogspot.com/

Week 24 WI

Cringe, cringe, cringe... I almost didn't write this post, but then I suppose I have to face facts.
So, here goes...

I gained 2.2 lbs/ 1 kg this week.

I am not a happy bunny and I have no one to blame but myself.

So I have just put back on the result of 5 weeks' effort. And although I can acknowledge that I made some very bad choices this week (a pub quiz on Monday evening with 4 beers and chips, cheddar and garlic mayo, for example) and have not been exercising at all, I am still really disappointed because I know I am still a hell of a lot healthier than I was 6 months ago.

Also, I have been on WW for almost half a year now and have *only* lost (not even) 11 kg / 24 lbs. I am feeling discouraged to say the least.

Yesterday I think I didn't do too bad, but I ate out lunch and evening, so hard to know if I pointed correctly. And I'm just getting bored of the whole pointing thing anyway... I just want to be able to eat without thinking about it. This whole food relationship thing is a real curse and I just don't want to have to deal with it for the rest of my life :(

Well, that's enough whining from me for one day... Butt kickings welcome.

A weekend in Bristol

Just got back from a really nice weekend away with Anne. We went to Bristol by train (first class, hehehe) and spent 3 days there.

Friday was quite rainy but we got lots of walking done, visited the Clifton Suspension Bridge and spent a few hours at Bristol Zoo... I just love the animals :)
Then had a gorgeous dinner at a random Greek restaurant. If you're in Bristol, check it out, their food is divine: Entelia.

Saturday was gorgeous and we took the train to Bath for the day and completely milked our 2 for 1 sightseeing bus tour tickets. The tour guides on the busses were so nice and gave us lots of interesting info we wouldn't have had otherwise. I treated myself to fish & chips for lunch, but got the healthy-ish option of cajun grilled salmon instead of fish in batter, which was yummy. I of course absolutely adore chips with malt vinegar, so no healthier option there, ahum!

Saturday night, after relaxing back at the hotel for a few hours, we went out to The Shed for drinks on the the terrace overlooking the river Avon, followed by a really nice dinner. I had the Scottish smoked salmon
followed by a thaï green vegetable curry. Yummy :)


Today we took day passes for the ferries and went up and down the river all day, stopping off at the SS Great Britain, the one thing I absolutely wanted to see. It was really, really worth it, absolutely amazing! I love maritime history, especially stories about ocean liners, so I was in heaven. The museum and the ship are beautifully presented and there is just so much to see and read about... and of course the ship itself is the highlight of the tour. I am completely awestruck by how well it has been restored and how amazingly the interior has been reconstructed to give us a glimpse at how it must have been in those days. I even got quite emotional walking through the 3rd class quarters. This is a picture of the engine room:

I wonder if any of my ancestors immigrated to New Zealand on that ship, as there were quite a few Armstrongs listed in the passenger records. I will ask my mum next time I speak to her... Also, the whole visit to Bristol was a bit of a pilgrimage for me as it is where my mum went to university, so it was really strange discovering the city and imagining her living there all those years ago (well, about 40!).

We finished off the day with a nice late lunch on a sunny terrace overlooking the water and I actually got a bit of a sunburn. So now after this really nice weekend I'm back in London for the last 3 days of my trip and wondering what to do with the time I have left as the course is over and I don't have any other obligations... I think I'll try and get a ticket for Priscilla Queen of the Desert or Mamma Mia and maybe go to Tate Modern. Fill up on culture before heading back to Brussels ;)

Happy to report...

I am really happy to report that I have managed to stick to my points so far this week!
I'm back in Brussels for the weekend and peeked at the scales this morning, and it seems I'm down 1.3 kg / 3 lbs from Monday, so I'm guessing Anne's scales - which I've been weighing in on for the past 2 weeks - are slightly higher than mine. Very good news :)

I'm really enjoying London, and am starting to find my way around Sainsbury's and M&S for lunch and dinner... have discovered the "count on us" and "be good to yourself" ranges and really enjoying trying new things and finding the healthy options out there - so much more choice and variety than here in Belgium!

For lunch I usually have either a healthy choice tortilla or some sushi or some chicken tikka bits from Sainsbury's, with a huge portion of fruit - mango chunks are my favourite! That sees me through to the evenings, and if I am peckish in the afternoon I can buy a banana or an Alpen bar at the school cafeteria - which is great :)

It does make me realise how little options I had up till now at work - if I was hungry in the afternoon and hadn't thought of bringing something with me, all I had to choose from were Mars bars (bleh!), M&Ms (yum, unfortunately), a bag of crisps and other similar niceties... I seems society in general doesn't really help people make healthy choices. TV ads are always for the foods you can't eat, or else for the "miracle" products promising to make you thin (usually also full of stuff you don't want to be putting in your body, like aspartam). And vending machines are full of high calorie, low filling snacks.

If there was a fruit vendor on every street corner instead of a newspaper stall full of crap, we'd be healthier people, I figure.

Anyway, on this rant, I'm off to enjoy the rest of the weekend and will report in after WI on Monday :)
Have a great weekend!

"I deserve it"

Today I came home really late after a client meeting that lasted longer than it should have.
These past 2 years this had been such a frequent occurrence that it had almost become the norm, but the last couple of months, with the reduced work pressure, it hadn't happened any more.

So today I came home, after 8, and declared I had absolutely no energy to cook, so Bart proposed take-away. So I picked up the take-away leaflet and wondered what I could order that was within points, and almost immediately a loud inner voice replied "take what you want, you've deserved it!".

And I almost did - until I realised it was a voice I hadn't heard for over 2 months and that it was its absence that had allowed me to lose the weight up till now. And that for the 2 previous years I had listened to it, and piled on the 5 stone I'm now trying to lose as a consequence.

I don't know exactly why I equate (unhealthy) food so much with rewarding myself, or why I even consider something that harms me to be something I deserve, but I'm glad I've been able to take enough distance from my over-worked, over-stressed lifestyle to escape the pressure long enough that the voice doesn't feel like such a "normal" part of my life any more.

Week 8 WI

Blah!

I gained this week, which isn't surprising seeing as I went over points 4 days out of 7.
So I guess I didn't do too bad. It's the first gain since I started, and after 7 weeks losing it's a bit disappointing, but I mustn't give up.

So, the results are:

Gain week 8: +0.2 kg / +0.4 lb
Total loss: 7.0 kg / 15.4 lb

I still don't know why I derailed. I just felt really peckish all day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and ended up snacking all evening. Well, I know it's due to the fact I went out for lunch with my colleagues every day last week, and used up most of my points over lunch. I can't survive on 3 points from 2pm on.

So, this week: less eating out and more filling foods. It's back to soup for me...

Hope everyone else has a good week.

A walk in the woods

I went out to the British supermarket in Kortenberg today. It's a 20 minute drive from where I live, so I don't get out there too often, but when I do it's like Christmas :)

I love British food, British brands, the homely feeling I get when I pick up a packet of oatcakes or a jar of Sunpat peanut butter (imagine I live without those things on a daily basis here!) and I do treat myself when I get out there. Walking into the store is like travelling back home :)

I was also interested in trying out some of the WW foods I'd read about on the 5+ WW board, and they had a really large selection, which was cool. I got a packet of WW naan bread and a jar of WW korma sauce, so will try those out tomorrow for dinner.

On the way back home from the store, I have to drive through some woods, and today I really felt like getting out and going for a walk, so I did.

Walking in the nature isn't something I get to do a lot here in Belgium, which is a pity as I enjoy it so much. But the reality is that there just aren't that many green spaces where you can take a walk and clear your head with no one else around. In fact, if you take my imaginary list of the "Top 10 Things I Hate About Belgium", number one would be the fact it's so over-populated (other items being their apparent inability to queue and the fact they eat their chips with mayonnaise instead of vinegar).

I grew up in Shetland... a place where you can go for a 3 hour walk without seeing a soul. You can sit on a rock and look out to sea and rebuild the world without anyone bursting your bubble. It's heaven. Here, the moment the sun comes out, it's as if every acre of forest or field is immediately populated by 5 families complete with pushchairs and dogs and a bunch of people on horses...

Misanthropic remarks aside, I guess I just find it difficult to feel "at one" with the nature around me when I'm sharing it with 20 other people...

Luckily today it was still really cold, so I only ran into 1 pushchair family, 2 people on horses and a couple of other lonely wanderers while I was out.

The walk was worth it though, and I find the woods in the winter emit a special kind of energy, with the majestic trees standing proud and barren amid a blanket of brown leaves... it was really quite beautiful.

I also managed this spooky Blair-witch project-type picture of myself... lol